


Carols Corrupted

by Dwimordene



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Humor, Other - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 08:25:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4214905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dwimordene/pseuds/Dwimordene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Santa's gonna skip this block for years..."—Calvin, to Hobbes.</p><p>First up: a metafilk reworking of "The Friendly Beasts".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carols Corrupted

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

Nuzgûl, sharp-fangèd, bred their brood  
With dusty bunnies, yea, they accrued  
And the evil beasts around me stood  
Nuzgûl, sharp-fangèd, bred their brood

"I," said the first one, mangy and brown,  
"I carried you up Caradhras and down  
"I carried you straight through the stop light downtown  
"Tsk," said the first one, mangy and brown.

"I," said the second, evil eyes red,  
"I gave you the tale of Rohan's undead  
"While tomorrow's text lay still unread.  
"Heh," said the second, evil eyes red.

"I," said the third, with pearly claws fine  
"I gave you the tale of Halbarad's line  
"So that you forgot your traffic court fine  
"Oops," said the third, with pearly claws fine.

"I," said the fourth, of fearful fang,  
"I whispered that story about Dúrin's Bane  
"And distracted, you fell off your bike yet again  
"Ow," said the third, of fearful fang.

Thus every beast by some bite fell  
Did inopportunely my attention compel  
And forced my pen its tale to tell  
So writers, ware the nuzgûl's spell!

Hear the midi version [ here](http://www.yuleloveit.com/midis/midi_files/friendly_beasts.mid)


End file.
